The_Laptop Writes…

Sometimes

2012-02-12T04:19:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I think that things are just
Too much to bear, and yet I find myself
Pushing harder and harder to overcome the perceived
Hardship. Others might think that I am being
Illogical, since in their eyes I am apparently doing
Pretty well. But really, it is hard to keep
Sight of the future when one is really still stuck in
The past. Confusion often strikes when one is feeling
Doubtful. Maybe one day I will rise up to
The occasion and make things work out the way it
Ought to be.

Feckless

2012-02-09T11:11:00.002+08:00

February fantasy fuels fetid funambulism;
Feverish fanatics for feckless fools.
Flee! Flee!
Fecundity fails, feelings fray,
Fouled findings feign feebleness.
Fall.

Cutting Wind

2012-02-08T14:26:00.002+08:00

As the snow falls about me
I walk alone, in the cold once more.
The freezing wind blowing through
Icing the feet that drag through the dark ice.
I stay warm within, only because of you
But I know it is only a passing dream;
You don't like me the same way I
Feel for you.

The snow fall increases in intensity,
But I still walk on in the cold
Huddling as deep as I can into my coat
But to no avail as the cutting wind
Slices deep into my heart
Paralysing my very core being.
I shudder for a moment before I
Moved no more.

明日太阳

2012-02-08T14:16:00.002+08:00

情人锁在心怀中
雪花纷飞月色瞢
明日太阳普天肇
不让新式来困扰

I Will Not Disturb You Then

2012-02-06T14:27:00.004+08:00

Hello my love, it has been a while, hasn't it?
Did you miss me? Do you miss me? Are you missing me?
I'm so sorry we didn't manage to meet sooner---
Life catches up upon us in so many ways
That I feel so sad that I missed you that day.

My love, are you mad at me? Please, don't be;
I didn't really mean to not be there
Really, it's not like I don't care;
I blame it upon the confused skies
That led me far beyond where the truth lies.

My love, why are you turning away?
My words now, they hold no sway
On you anymore? You have...
...Found another in the time I was gone?
Oh, my. So sorry... I will...

...not disturb you then.

Extraordinary

2012-01-25T09:13:00.002+08:00

Why wait till tomorrow what I can do today
Who knows just what the next day brings?
It might seem hard, but I chose this path;
No one owes me, except myself.
To push on through, gritting teeth
Is for no one else but I
For it is really of little benefit
To the guide and mentor
What I do or don't.
My time is short; hell, life is short.
An extraordinary life I choose to live;
An extraordinary effort I must give.

Fading into the Darkness

2012-01-11T04:31:00.003+08:00

I fade into the darkness, alone, but not isolated.
Such is the life path I have chosen.
To claim that I am in love with my mind;
I will need to now prove it.
Fear is so constant that the adrenaline
Keeps on pumping non-stop.
Soon I will be used to the never-ending stimulant;
A different person from what I recently had turned into.
Darker, morose, serious.
Melancholous, foreboding, silently aggressive.
Just the way that it was always meant to be.

Winter Anxiety

2012-01-05T10:11:00.003+08:00

Waiting for the day where success is here
I sit in the quiet office surrounded by machines.
Reading, writing, thinking;
Fearing, frightened, panicked.
Maybe I am just having anxiety attacks
Or perhaps I don't really have ability,
Most likely I have few to talk with
Driving away my sanity.

Working Nights

2012-01-03T15:19:00.002+08:00

The night time air chills under the wind
As snowy white flakes dominate the landscape.
Tucked among layers of blankets and hoodies
I sit in front of my machine,
Typing fervently as I read.
The clock steadily counts down the moments
As I sit here, toasty.

Day Blues

2012-01-02T12:59:00.002+08:00

As the darkened sky extends above
I look deep into myself, towards my love.
The deepest emotion I don't let out
Well, at least, not without a shout.
Deep within my heart a soft word sighs
Telling me to greet my love a hearty ``Hi!''
But as we know 'bout things that go,
These deep feelings are not for show.
So with this rather macho side
I face the whole world, far and wide;
A careless looking attitude
Hiding latent verisimilitude.

The wind howls in the darkened night
A sombre reminder from the lack of light.
Windchill seeps through doors that close
Gee I wonder what's up with those.
But as I said before derailment
Lots of thoughts escaping entailment.
Year end, year start, traditional lack of heart,
Old times, new times---time to part.

Glancing At My Life Ahead...

2011-12-16T01:45:00.003+08:00

Glancing at my life ahead
I wake up each morning, filled with dread.
Wondering if what I do is obsolete
If what I'm solving is not so neat.
With each day that passes by
I find I can't look people in the eye.
Depressed perhaps, but filled more with fear
That I just might not last another year.
Why am I not moving forth well
Am I still stuck in that cynical spell?
With no one to give me a word of advice
I feel stuck---trapped in the ice.

Imposter

2011-12-12T13:14:00.002+08:00

I long to be one who
Can think on my own, freeing my mind
To see beyond what others have.
But now as time goes on
I start having doubt over myself---
Am I only an imposter through and through
With nothing really there to be used?

I ponder, I wonder
I look out the window, I sigh.
No forthcoming answer from with-out;
The only answer is from with-in.

Fear

2011-12-05T12:34:00.003+08:00

My fear makes me tremble
When the thunder roars,
My mirth crumbles
When the email alert comes.
My insecurities arise
When I think about myself.

Why am I scared?
Why am I fearful?
Why am I tearful?
Why am I nervous?

Something fundamentally wrong?
Something fundamentally confusing?
Something fundamentally abstruse?
Something fundamentally broken?

My eyes dart corner to corner
Looking for an exit or at least
A place to hide.
My nose twitches to an insensate loathing
Of myself, my surroundings, my discomfort.

Laser

2011-11-29T21:24:00.002+08:00

Shoot a laser to the sky
Just how far will it fly?
Will it reach Alpha C?
Or something in our proximity?

Shoot a laser to the ground
There, I'm sure, it will rebound.
Small green spot directed there
But please remember not to stare.

Shoot a laser to your friend
Then you'll neve see him again.
He'll be angry for all you know,
That laser isn't just for show.

Haiku 95

2011-11-23T05:33:00.000+08:00

Big rain fell all day
Stuck in room but want to play
Hope sunny day soon

Not Even Death

2011-11-23T05:30:00.002+08:00

When things seem the worst
When the lights go dim
You stand alone there wondering
If you need a stim.
But then you realise
With fire in your eyes
That you are your own light
And with that you put on a fight.
Nothing stops you
Not even death,
Not until your final breath.
You alone have the will to go beyond
All that every man has done.
So go forth, fulfil your destiny.

Awesome!

2011-11-15T10:01:00.003+08:00

Some days when I sit alone in the dark
I think about the times when
I thought I was in love with someone.
Those days seemingly were happy
But then I realised that each of those
Were in the past and the happiness
That I thought I found
Was illusionary.

Thus, instead of wallowing about lost loves
And awaiting for that special someone to come
I have decided to become awesome on my own
And to do the things that I love;
Lovers be damned, leastways till the day
That my true Lover and Partner appears
And we ride off into the sunset together.

11-11-11

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

So strange to be waxing lyrical
In times such as this.
Working on novels, research and life
Thinking sometimes of getting a wife.
Such a complicated way to start the day.

But then again it's 11-11-11
No matter the way you write it.
So enjoy this day as best as you can
And have a nice weekend.

Keep On Trying

2011-10-26T12:15:00.002+08:00

When I felt that life was going wrong
I stopped and listened to a song
That reminded me that I was tough
And that all I had was enough.

So I stuck it out, and not hold back
Pushing on once more on a different tack.
If one technique fails then try
Keep on trying until you die.

Self-Psyche

2011-10-24T23:10:00.001+08:00

If I hold myself back artificially
Then I have already lost since
I had limited my own potential of
What I can do.

But if I keep pressing on, thinking
Preparing, reading, understanding
And asking questions, more and more of them
Attempt to answer them, one by one,
Well, and convey their answers clearly
To all who matter and care
Then I have assured myself of my abilities
In time to come.

Stanza Ramble 80

2011-10-23T01:15:00.002+08:00

Tepid rain took over most of the week
Leaving me behind trying to seek
Closure.
A journey to the self from a different way
It all seems like work and no play.
Concentrate, focus, charge on---
No holding back.

Moody Me

2011-10-20T04:11:00.002+08:00

My mood matches the sky
Dark, torrential, ready to cry.
Fear of the past, present and future
Cumulate into emotions uncanny.
A little lost, a little wistful
And yet a little grounded,
I wish to myself that everything will be
All right.

Haiku 94

2011-10-19T23:59:00.001+08:00

Rain comes down all day
Wind blows strong making trees sway
Winter? Autumn? Lost

Haiku 93

2011-10-14T23:21:00.001+08:00

Cold wind blows through me
Scarf wrapped tight around my neck
Autumn is now here

Eight Hundred Enjambment

2011-10-14T23:18:00.004+08:00

How apt it would be that the post numbered
Eight hundred since the start
Will involve me griping about how life
Has changed much from the past and how
Things are never so straightforward as
Before and that we all need to maintain some
Illusion to keep ourselves within the realm of
Sanity that makes us fairly sociable or even
Well-adjusted. But I suppose I
Digress from the matter at hand, wherein I would
Highlight that it is a Friday where I am and
That I am actually looking forward to a weekend of
Intensive study and understanding without any
Distractions from the annoyance of dealing with
Classes.

Grad Student Mumbles

2011-10-12T12:15:00.003+08:00

When the night has come
And the land is dark.
I find myself sitting here
Thinking about the sea.

On a boat, in the sea
That's just where I want to be!
But then again, it's a dream
Dream for me.

Cold nights sweet heights
Dreaming on, dreaming tonight.
Thinking by day, sleeping by night
Such is my way of gaining delight.

My training my apprenticeship anew
Will take lots of effort;
Stretch some sinew
And plow on step by step.

And so as today turns to last night
I finally nod off
Resting in my warm bed;
Will be ready tomorrow with clear head.

Neglect Denial

2011-10-11T11:57:00.003+08:00

When I feel neglected
Or all alone
I find myself writing
More and more
Be it poem or prose
I keep writing.
No, I'm not about to fall
Just staying sane
By writing my worries away
Keeping my focus
On things that are far more important
Like right now.

I

2011-10-09T13:09:00.003+08:00

I think by now with the last thing said
I have gotten over you completely.
I wondered why I even thought it would work;
I suppose I was delusional.
I think a misunderstanding has brewed
I frankly do not give a damn.
I find your replies just too cruel---
I wish you all the best and
I will never think of you again.

Saturday Mirthlessness

2011-10-09T00:08:00.003+08:00

T'is a Saturday with little mirth
As work catches up quickly behind.
But the good news is, for all its worth,
I do things I like in kind.
Considering theories, working out math
Drawing diagrams, writing outlines;
All the things I'm supposed to do and more!
But what's really fun is my own little world
Secluded temporarily from everything else.

Wounds

2011-10-08T21:36:00.003+08:00

Some wounds heal, with time
Others never do, no matter what.
To those that heal, we smile to ourselves
And tell ourselves things are fine.
To those that don't, we cock our head to the side
Thinking about all that happened
And then with a resigned air
Move on as though they aren't there.

With Constancy and Purpose

2011-10-05T23:13:00.002+08:00

When life throws up yet another obstacle my way
I first sit down, and sort of pray.
Wondering why the powers above
Seem to not shower me with love.
But then I dust myself clear of doubt
Standing right up; giving a shout.
Telling myself that it's okay
That I am feeling this way.
As long as my step forward is clear
The mistake made will not be dear.
For what don't kill us makes us strong
Stand us tall even when we're wrong.
Seeking and following advice around
I'll take the next step without a sound.
Life is real, it is true;
There's no sense sitting here and feeling blue.
So now when I seem hardest hit;
It's time to show that I won't quit.

Room of Gloom

2011-10-03T09:44:00.002+08:00

The room of gloom---all I hear is the music boom.
Brick walls thicker than my fist
Lighting dimmer than a moonlit night;
I feel so alone and unwanted.
Covered in my blanket of self-doubt
My mind festers on its own with little intervention,
Soon another day will arise
And I will have to face the next day.

Tour de Abrasion

2011-09-22T11:47:00.004+08:00

A hint of pain progresses into
A tumultous journey beyond
The confines of the local health centre from which
I began my journey of an abrasion of
My cornea towards resolving
Its damage through
The health care system that made
Me travel around in circles all the
Whole morning on this supposedly peaceful
Wednesday. Damn.

Fog Cycling

2011-09-21T11:27:00.002+08:00

Cycling in the fog this morning
Lights blinking out into the unknown.
Misty droplets cling to my face
As I charge on pedal by pedal.
The sun was still a slumbering
Hiding lazily past the horizon.
I wished the fog would lift but
It never did, not then.
With great care I cut through the air
Slowing down as is necessary.
And soon before I knew it,
I had reached my destination
Yet the fog, it was still there
Blanketting the ground with its grayish pallour.

Pandering Ponderings

2011-08-28T11:19:00.002+08:00

Once, we were lovers, entwined, enamoured;
Then one day you said that wasn't the way and left.
Today, years later, we meet again as friends
Talking about things in the way that friends do
And I am glad.

I once asked myself a lot of whys
But the biggest why was simply
``Why didn't it work out?''
Today, years later, I finally understand:
We do indeed lead different lives.

I met a friend yesterday who gave me the Tour,
And pointed out that food place people went
When they were on dates.
Today I met him again and he said in a rush
That he was going there to meet someone he met last night.

I smiled knowingly to myself as I think back
Upon the times that I had once gone through---
That inexplicable need to feel loved.
But now, having gone through hell and back
I learn to not worry about that need.

Love isn't mere amour, love isn't about dating,
Love is that feeling you get thinking
About someone you care deeply, unconditionally.
Something that no amount of dating
Can ever inspire, rationally speaking.

With that in mind, I am at ease
Knowing that within me a higher being exists
That understand love on a higher plane
A love beyond armourous adventures
A love that transcends boundaries.

What Sun?

2011-08-25T00:39:00.002+08:00

When the sun goes up in this land
A new anger rises deep within me.
Self-doubt rears its ugly head
And tries to bury me in the sand.

Fear and anger unite as one,
Dark rain clouds blotting the sun.
What silver lining in the clouds of doubt?
It isn't there no matter how loud you shout.

Self assurance is at an all time low
I wonder if I can take another blow.
But soon enough I must emerge
If I truly want to make the herd.

Forwards, sideways and round about
Walking in here and walking out.
Doodle diddle and staring matches
Feeling that life has its catches.

Madness

2011-08-20T07:44:00.002+08:00

It is my own feeling;
It is just my longing:
God knows how painful to part.
Added to the feeling,
The sweetness of your heart.
The sweetness of your heart!

You said, you've changed; I'm mad to love you.
Heaven knows all this longing I have
Just don't go away.

You said, you've chaged; I'm mad to love you.
Heaven knows that this longing I have
Will just go nowhere.

Just how am I to love you
When your heart just isn't there?
Why do I not see
The successes of this journey we have.

(With apologies to 蔡辛娟 and 《望天》)

Fall Lament

2011-08-20T07:38:00.002+08:00

Winter will soon befall this place,
Snow-covered roads lit by street lamps.
Grab some beer by the case,
Drinking slowly easing cramps.

Fall is now, but still ain't here
Summer rules: much to cheer.
New month comes, things will change
New encounters, all in range.

Silent focus, deep in mind,
Take the weekend to unwind.
When Monday comes soon enough,
It'll be time to show who's tough.

Scene Change

2011-08-18T12:41:00.003+08:00

Summer night of crickety delight
Slips slowly away into autumn day.
Winds pick up to cool me down
Bring a smile to wipe that frown.
I miss this place, this foreign culture
Feel like an eagle, not a vulture.
Soaring high from peak to peak
Making true of what I seek.
Home town seems far far away
As I look forward to another day.
I hate not where I came from, that's sure
But living there had been a blur.
A change of scene makes me glean
A new perspective: tough and mean.

Damoclean Musing

2011-08-11T15:16:00.004+08:00

I now know the feeling of living life
Under the Sword of Damocles
Where the glamour of the life lived
Is checked by that thin thread of certain death.
I have risked much to be here now
And I will have to risk more to go farther.
But tell me just how much risk
Must I take before I finally succeed?

In Times of Stress

2011-08-05T08:57:00.001+08:00

It is in times of stress
That I wish I had someone
Whom I could share my worries
And get reassured of my path
To tell me I'm doing a good job
To show me that life is still good
To be with me till the light goes out
And the world comes to an end.

My Love From Aeons Past

2011-08-02T16:25:00.002+08:00

In the morning as I drove to work
I thought that I was dreaming of you
With beautiful green eyes and long black hair
Framing the most lovely face to be seen.
But I know that it was only a dream
A hallucination, really, of you
My love from aeons past.

In the afternoon as I was working
I thought I was dreaming of you
As you sat next to me typing along
In the sweet serenity of working quietly.
But I know that it was only a scene
Within my mind, really, of you
My love from aeons past.

In the evening as I was driving home
I thought I was dreaming of you once more.
This time you had that ``come hither'' look
Begging me to bed you more and more.
But I know that it was only a mirage
That appeared from the heat, really, of you
My love from aeons past.

In the night as I sat there sipping whiskey
I thought I was dreaming of you yet again.
You just stood there in front of me
Eyes looking away; a general air of disappointment.
I thought it was a mirage; but it was merely a
Reflection of reality, for you had already broke up with me
My love from aeons past.

Stanza Ramble 79

2011-07-24T23:53:00.002+08:00

When the month draws to an end
I find my anxieties coming in big waves
Washing over my helpless body
And taking over my restless mind.

Sport of Life

2011-07-19T00:42:00.003+08:00

I know that the road ahead
Is a lonely one;
Welcome to the land of the Blue
Population: One.

Again as before I am sensitised
By those couply pairs around me
Acutely aware of what I seem to be lacking
In comparison with all the other people.

But then I start thinking to myself
And realise that everything is illusionary
The only thing that is constant
Is whatever is left of my mind.

I have seen break-ups from the most loving of couples;
I have witnessed how the most abuseive relationship drag on.
I have seen the most trustworthy fall off the wayside;
I have seen the dastardly of enemies become friends.

Oh life! What sport art Thou making of me?
Giving me an opportunity of a lifetime of greatness
Balanced only by an opportunity for a life time of marital bliss?

If I Told You...

2011-07-12T14:54:00.002+08:00

If I told you I loved you
Would you believe what I said as truth
Or will you just laugh at me in disdain
Dismissing me with a limp wave?

If I told you I missed you
Would you say you missed me too
Or will you just show me a shocked face
Telling me to stop talking nonsense?

If I told you I longed for you
Would you feel the same too
Or will you just give me the icy glare
Ironically reminding me to not stare?

If I told you I liked you
Would you think the same way too
Or will you just tell me that this all
Is merely my own wishful dreaming?

Stanza Ramble 78

2011-07-07T19:59:00.001+08:00

Some days I wish that each day
Will be like the one just passed
Where things were nice and dandy
As though life were candy.
But we know that as time passes by
Such things slowly go away
Only to come again another day.

Self-Doubt

2011-07-06T22:43:00.003+08:00

Sometimes as I sit here alone
I ask myself if all I have done
Is indeed worth the effort
Of all the blood, sweat and tears.

For that one moment I feel miniscule
As though I had achieved nothing
And then the sadness follows me
From the past till now.

But when I think back upon the path I took
And looked at the material reminders
Of the past rewards and glory
And I soon tell myself it's alright.

Lethargy

2011-06-22T21:45:00.002+08:00

As the anxieties set in from fear
Nothing seems to abate that foreboding feeling.
Escapism through procrastination;
Forgetting about reality just for a while.
Waiting and fearing all that might happen
Yet lethargic in taking positive action.

Single Odd Ball

2011-06-21T12:59:00.002+08:00

When the people around you talk about family
As the single odd ball around, you feel nothing
Nothing about the conversation,
Nothing about that matches the emotion.
Such is the way of life.

Everyone has their own paths to walk
And people speak only of what they know;
Those who speak beyond are labelled heretics---
Shunned and jeered off the platform.

And so sometimes it is better to just walk alone
And do things on one's own time
Away from the status quo and norm
And pick out the way on one's own.

People will not change for others---
That is the way that it is.
But one can change for oneself;
It is merely a matter of how and when.
Eventually when things become unbearable
A path will eventually appear
And the truth will guide once more.

Trust

2011-06-14T12:53:00.003+08:00

How does one
Trust one's heart
In the hands
Of someone?

Will the pain
Come haunt you
When you least
Expect it?

Maybe life
Is full of
Other things
To pursue.

Mulling ABout Photographs

2011-06-14T11:06:00.002+08:00

I listen to a piece and think.

Times have passed, photography took off;
And people love the pictures they take.

Photographs are a capture of a moment in the past
When things were a little less complicated
Where happiness existed for that fleeting moment.

But when we look upon photographs long after
We find a mix of emtions, both good and bad.
The good comes from the happiness that we had then;
The bad is the air of regret when things have changed.

For that reason then, to forget the past
I hardly have photographs lying around.
They mean nothing in the present;
They will mean nothing in the future---
So why keep them around to provoke myself?

Insight

2011-06-11T03:18:00.002+08:00

O
My
God
What
Thing
Occurs
Without
Stimulus

When Tonight Falls

2011-06-11T03:12:00.003+08:00

When we sit together under the moonlight
Watching the lights out along the city line;
We declared our love for each other
Wrapped warm in each other's embrace.

Tonight I sit above the seas, alone.
Tempted on by the tell-tale moon once more.
Together we thought we would be, forever and ever---
That was not meant to be.

Finding myself in the mess of feelings,
Figuring out that you are now a dream far away;
Fervently chasing a fuchsia dream to the end
Failing at every juncture.

Kick Back Relax

2011-05-31T14:39:00.002+08:00

When the day gives way to night
Hallowed halls fill with incandescent light.
Flitting moths that hide in the day
Daringly fly into my way.

I trudge down this corridor of quiet
Mulling about my slimming diet.
With hardly anyone else to see
All my thoughts are just about me.

At the end of the far side I appear
Looking for some pretty face to leer.
But all I find when I'm about
Are faces that demand a shout.

Soon night time will leave and day time come;
Time to break out that Czech spiced rum.
Drinking from late till the morning breaks
Hanging loose till my world quakes.

Haiku 92

2011-05-28T01:26:00.002+08:00

Day time sunlight heats
Hide in shade till dusk comes by
Cooler night time air.

Daytime Remorse

2011-05-27T13:48:00.002+08:00

The day light hides the shadows of despair
As I work at my desk, sitting on my chair.
A man-made breeze wafts through the cubicle
Innervating my soul just a little.

Thinking back to what had happened thus far
I cannot help but stop to open the cookie jar,
Wondering about what good I have done
All these while under the usn.

Droopy eyes lower ever so slightly
As the day moves on slowly towards the darkness.
Quietly and quietly I will go
Till I sound no more.

Self-Whore and More and More

2011-05-23T18:07:00.002+08:00

I anger at myself for being weak of heart
To think that I can trust those around me.
I find much to my disgust
That those whom I once trust
Are not worth the trust I had once placed.

Time and time again I get stabbed
From within, from without---
There is no end.
All throughout the moments of my existence
People abandon me; people abandon me.
They abandon me after I have served my purpose
They left me behind when they are done.

I am not a prostitute of my abilities---
So why do they rape me so?
Is being helpful and friendly whoring oneself
Or is it as simple as I thought to myself?

As I sit here, hard liquor in hand
I think about the conversations we had
And I think that it is fast becoming clear
That you had never taken me as dear.
With each sentence you utter ``friends''
Yet with each move you shove that stiletto
Deep through my sternum
Shattering my frozen heart
Frozen from the fear of sudden realisation.

Even as the darkness comes and I offered
To walk you home, you thought ill of me
And smashed my head into the nearby dome.
Now, bleeding heart and cracked skull
I fall to the ground into a lull.
Wondering what I had done to deserve all this
Thinking if I had done the right thing all along.

As the night falls I suddenly awake
Staring out into the darkness unafraid.
He who is killed and dead cannot be killed again
And so a new evil had risen once more.
Stalking this earth like a nosferatu
Fearless in dealing blows to all who crossed him.
Going against the nature of the light
We find him demonstrating might is Right.
Blaspheming along as he passes
Corrupting all that has his caresses.

But that had risen is not me!
It is not my nature---it never will be!
I am still lying defeated upon the ground
Sobbing silently to myself; aye without a sound.
As I watch you standing there cackling with glee
About the heinous fate that lies before me.
Weary of all the sill infighting and all
I just lie there; it was just a fall.
Blood drips out of the wounds of my body
But I know my soul will rise to purity.

And as the daylight finally breaks
I start to lose sight of your face and figure.
A sight of relief, indeed, at your absence
I find myself just a tad bit calmer
As I battle with the uneasiness that is my open wounds
I still lie there, delirious and confused.

Secret Underground Tunnel

2011-05-18T10:27:00.002+08:00

Geckos line the concrete walls
Scampering, falling from the ceilings.
The torch light shines on them all
Evoking disgusting feelings.

Muddied floors and rusting pipes
Are a spelunker's delight.
Holding firm, resisting gripes
Exploring with a faint white light.

Deeper we go into the hole
Geckos give way to spiders.
Thought of seeing some blinded mole
Tucked away by some hiders.

Found a cache; cleared the trash
Made our way back where we came.
Out of the jungle as we bash
Find another for our fame.

Lost, Alone, Forlorn

2011-05-12T18:46:00.000+08:00

Ahead in the distance, I sense a soul
Lost, alone, forlorn.
Approaching it as close as I can
I find myself progressively attracted.
A whiff of a rosy scent
A tinge of the light frangipani---
I knew this was no ordinary soul.

Carefully and respectfully I stood
At the edge of that odd forest.
``Hello there,'' I said out loud
``What brings you here today?''

``Oh,'' the Soul replied
``I am just a 'passing through
``With no beginning remembered
``And no goal in sight.''

``A pity!'' I cried out
With no sense of fear.
``A pity that you are now
``Just stuck here.''

The Soul shook its shadows
And let out a long sigh.
Instinctively I knew
The reason why.

Kid Gloves

2011-05-11T00:28:00.003+08:00

Mindful of our past encounters
I approach you once more with kid gloves
Falteringly, hesitatingly.
With each word chosen with great care
Just to avoid that awkward stare.
But as time once again shows
All the planning in the world
Can never pre-empt the changes
Of the demeanour.

Slide

2011-05-02T02:47:00.002+08:00

I have never felt this alone in a long while
Where I just sit ever so quietly in front of
My machine, with only the glowing words
Visible to me.
For just this moment in my life
I feel once more that sense of loss
That sense of failure
That sense of uselessness
As the people I once worked with closely
Retreat again into the shadows.

The cold night breeze sifts through the summer blinds
Washing over me like the crashes of the waves.
I shudder at each movement, huddling deeper within
As each blast of cold wind strikes my very being.
It is not a feeling that I wanted to relive
Yet here I am, going through more of the same.
Perhaps it is time to recall the way that I had
Once used to cope in some sorts,
To be away from the rest of the peopl
And to find my inner balance once more.

Cliffhanger

2011-04-18T01:54:00.003+08:00

As I stood there by the seaside
Waiting for the tide to fall
I feel the warmth from the afternoon sun
Heating the skin of my back gently.

The breeze uplifts the spirits
As the impatience sets in;
Soft crashing sounds of the waves
My eyes eagerly looking at them.

Time slips by with each watery wake
The foaming waves receding gently.
The exposed mossy rocks glint under the sun
Their treachery hidden from sight.

Half an hour of waiting later
I deemed it safe to go.
And off I went scrambling up the rocks
To get to the newly exposed beach.

The igneous rocks paving the ground
Were homes to the residing shrimp.
Lapping, swirling and leaping
They flit their way from puddle to puddle.

Further on towards the fallen branch
Seaweeds litter the sandy floor.
I trudge carefully amongst them
Fearing the slip and fall.

Past the driftwood towards the watchtowers
Moved silently along the coast.
Reached the base of the cliffs
Some five hundred metres from where I began.

A beautiful view of the park
Opposing the waterway greeted me
As I sat there on the mossy rock
Enjoying the sights.

Cliff Watching

2011-04-11T15:23:00.002+08:00

It is hard to shake off the sense of sadness
When I see her in the arms of another.
I kept thinking about the past times we spent
Talking late into the night with each other.
But time plays tricks on us all
And we find that there's no way to make things good;
It's really hard to pursue a relationship
When you're just not in the mood.

I stand at the base of the sea-side cliff
Looking far into the rising tide and thinking.
Is all that I have sought to achieve just a dream
And that I am really sinking?
The salty breeze licks through my hair
As the sun slowly moves away.

Exudation

2011-04-06T10:51:00.003+08:00

Why do the trees look as though
They are about to wither and wilt
Just as the midday sun takes the sky?

Why do the birds sound as though
They had been thoroughly frightened
When they see me passing by?

Is there an aura that I exude
Which kills all that lives
Codified as solitude?

Why Face Death With A Solemn Face?

2011-04-05T17:43:00.002+08:00

As the rain pelts down with a vengeance outside
I sit in the comfort of my cubicle, my mind a blank.
Confusion abounds even though I am supposed to be
Well rested.

I fear for the present, and am scared of the future
When things are not all well-understood,
Where many things can happen even without realisation.
Unpredictability of it all makes it oh so
Confuddling, and I huddle in my seat in fear
As the thunder rolls on outside in the twilight.

Just when I thought I get a moment's reprieve
I start to find out that all along I have been exploited
Strip of my essence only to face the humiliation
Alone.

With a renewed rage seething from within
I puckered up my lips and grin;
Why face death with a solemn face?

Sunset Lover

2011-04-04T18:47:00.002+08:00

I dream of a day where my solitude is left far behind
Where my arms are wrapped lovingly around my lover's bosom
As the two of us stand upon the top of the cliff
Watching the sun set behind the gently rippling waves
Of the sea lapping along the coast some ten metres
Below us.

The orange glow of the light will bathe us with a radiance
That is challenged only by the warmth of her naked skin on mine
As we enjoy the intimacy of our hold.
The softness of her hair touches my shoulder front
As I lean in on her left and gently kiss her on her neck.
Such gentleness is really a moment of bliss.

The sun gently sets in the horizon, and the orange glow
Fades away to vermillion, to pink and finally to a deep maroon.
The wind picks up, and I hold my lover closer,
Pressing herself into me tighter,
My arms spreading to both her bosoms and mons
In a valiant attempt at keeping her warm.

Her soft hands part, guiding my left downwards,
And the other holding my head from the right;
Responding ever so splendidly to my caresses.
And, as abruptly as it came
The sun disappears completely behind the horizon
Leaving behind only the wind which wafts through her hair..

Dreaming

2011-03-31T22:59:00.002+08:00

If you and I were to meet again
What words shall we end up trading?
Will it be words of encouragement
Or words of pure malice?
I have thought through it for quite a bit
But I never seem to have come to a conclusion.
But why wonder about something that will never happen
When there are more things to worry about now?
I suppose that's what a dreamer is made of.

Lies

2011-03-31T00:31:00.002+08:00

I lie on the cold concrete floor of my domicile
My head resting on an arm as I stare the ceiling down.
My life, it has been, lived in a pool of lies
Ever since the day that I was born.
I have lived a million lives before, each one ending in
Sadness from a broken heart.
Lies, lies! Lies!
Lies about what this life brings,
Lies about what I am to achieve in time,
Lies about how I am supposed to reach that pinnacle of
Falsehood.

Lies.

White lies, black lies, they all bind about me---
My whole existence is a lie from the start,
For I had never truly existed in this plane;
It was, after all, a lie.
A lie that belies the quiet countenance
A lie that pretends to be the ultimate in
Truth.

Falsehood upon falsehood upon falsehood;
Contradictions abound!
And all I can do about this lie of my life
Is just to lie there on the cold concrete floor
My head resting on my arm as a I stare the ceiling down
And concoct yet another beautiful lie as to why
My existence is not false.

Ficus Tree Wonderings

2011-03-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

As I sit beneath the ficus tree
A curious thought just comes to me.
What will life be if I am not here
As the person I am currently?
I suppose it is a little hard to determine,
Since my imagination is limiting,
Not because I refuse to try,
But because I don't want to cry.
when I'm reminded by everything that could have been,
Pangs of sadness seeps through my life's seam.
An unknown bird sings up above,
And I find my thoughts return to the present.

Go With The Flow

2011-03-14T17:13:00.002+08:00

Some days you sit around wondering about things you have done
Wondering if it is really worth all the effort put in.
Time flies as straight as the arrow does
Yet the mind bends like light through water.
Everything seems meaningful yet at the same time
Obfuscated in form.
The answer to life seems to be life itself
Yet the obvious tautology is of little comfort.
How can one be sure of one's actions
If there is little scale to measure it with?
A critical eye stares down the path of the ignorant
Wondering if it ought to be there.
Only to find that with enough anaesthesia depressing the mind
That things ahead are easier to deal with
For there is little need to maintain wit
Where one can just go with the flow,
Go with the flow,
Go with the flow.

On Love Again

2011-03-07T09:32:00.003+08:00

If love to one is like a dream
Then to me it is a nightmare.
Where the trade of vulnerabilities and power
Are as uneven as can be.
How can a love be true
If one side chooses not to share?

Wondering about what love is
Draws a few conclusions on what it isn't.
It isn't the path to happiness,
It isn't the path to success,
It isn't a worthy goal to aim for.

Love has too many variables, too many variations
Unlike its simple-minded cousin lust.
It involves finding some near-random stranger
And somehow finding common ground
To start a family together.
The sheer magnitude of such a perfect occurrence
Is astronomically miniscule to the point
That it isn't really statistically prudent to try.

But of course, only time will tell
If statistical prudence can give way to
The improbabilities of reality.

My Rusty Art

2011-03-03T00:28:00.003+08:00

My art---how rusty it has become!
I daren't wilfully forget about this
But time does take away the precious moments
That can be best spent on reflection
And meditation, on all things in mind.
Has my litany of verses ended
Is the quiet era truly here?

Nay I say! I say nay!

I will reverse the downward spiral
Reflect upon reflection
And burrow deep in the recesses of my mind
Seeking out the rhymes and verses once more
That best say what I long to
Without the vulgarity of pure prose.
For it would appear that I have
Neglected my charge all this while
As time marches on into the darkness.

Never Meant To Be

2011-02-05T20:22:00.002+08:00

You and I are never meant to be
It was just a muse, it must be.
There is no way that heaven and earth meet
No way for Mars and Venus to collide.
A path of pure collateral exists not;
It was only a strange dream by
A stranger mind.
I don't care what happens at this point---
Whatever happens mean nothing anymore
Just like the myriads before.

Stanza Ramble 77

2011-01-30T07:48:00.001+08:00

What is it in a woman
That makes men lose their rationality
Just to have one close to their hearts?
Is it her soft tender touch,
Her lovable demeanour
And her protection-inspiring gaze?
Or is it her child-like innocence
Her warm embrace
And the pleasures those bring?

More Ruminations

2011-01-24T22:35:00.002+08:00

Wondering again about how time moves
Leading me towards cacophony and more.
Foraging forwards seeking answers
Getting more questions in return.
If the path ahead were there
It would have been an easy walk.
But should that be the target that I seek?
Or do I bash through the virgin forest
Making my own crude trail
In the hopes that I see daylight?

New Resolve

2011-01-24T13:43:00.002+08:00

A new resolve to be the one I am meant to be
Devoid of the distractions that characterise the living.
Roaming about in a state of pure undeadness
Perking up only when it is necessary to.
Unholy hours sap the coporeal strength
But the brutality sharpens the possessed mind.
Single in purpose, no holds barred
All that stands in the way is time.

Humanly pleasures are merely shadows
Of what is present in the modern life.
In face of what is to come, it became ordained
That delay to that eventuality is inevitable.
I face my lot as bravely as I can
Forsaking all that I have for the one-sided goal.
Success is most definitely not guaranteed
But at the very least I can claim I had done
What I could.

This Day

2011-01-22T00:23:00.002+08:00

This day a few years back
I first asked you to walk with me.
You nodded with a bashful grin
And I thought I found heaven.

This day a few years back
We were still together.
Walking through the icy night
Looking at frost-reflected moonlight.

This day two years back
I walk the path alone.
Distance and you said we were through
And I drank myself to stone.

This day one year back
I thought I found another.
Though it was clear she wouldn't be dear
I still clung on to hope.

This day now, looking back
I've found the err in my ways.
Love is only a passing dream
The path to salvation is to look away.

Misery

2011-01-07T16:46:00.003+08:00

Sometimes when I stay awake at night
I think about what's wrong and what's right
Only to find at the break of day
That there just wasn't any way.
Pondering at times even when awake
About what it feels like in the lake
Devoid of air, food and doubt;
Just like a dying man suffering from gout.
But as it slowly passes on through time
I find my thoughts failing sublime
With pent up discomfort lining up the wall
Waiting to come in only when I fall.

Next Decade

2011-01-07T13:07:00.002+08:00

As we enter the next decade of this millenium
We find ourselves at the cross roads of interesting times,
Where there is much freedom on the one hand
And much less on the other.
Roughness of road is almost guaranteed
But through it all, we will be strong.
Those of us from the 1980s understand
That resilience is the most sacred artform;
To live and prosper when all else fails---
That marks the definition of our generation.

Lazy Choice

2011-01-03T16:57:00.003+08:00

No matter the time or day
You can have it your way.
I have chosen you
I swear; it's true!
Take me away from this land of sadness
And bring me towards the heaven of fulfilment;
For I can no longer tolerate the madness
That lies beneath the concealment.
Merry we shall be as time slips by
Never again will we ever sigh!
As sun shines strongly upon our brows
Casting shadows upon grazing cows.
The moon will rise into the night
Filling us with pure delight.
And soon as dawn breaks upon us
We will be in bliss forevermore.

Mix and Match

2010-12-27T00:10:00.003+08:00

A boring life, a lacklustre poem
Draws few friends, and fewer readers.
Meaningless holidays, themeless rhymes
Evoke self-pity, and tasteless grinds.
Halfway here, words aflow
Slowing down, enjambments follow.
The thief of time, he
Strikes in the dead of the
Night, leaving nary a
Trace, except in this time and
Place. He takes it forwards and
Lets it all loose leaving behind
Tears and sorrow, and poems that
Just don't rhyme.

Gruelessness

2010-12-15T10:34:00.003+08:00

Wondering about the future leaves one
Yearning about the goodness of the past.
Times that were good get remembered forever
While the bad ones seem to slide into oblivion
Never surfacing until insecurities play themselves out.

Sitting at my cubicle, deep in thought
Considering all that may happen
Considering all that can happen.
Hoping that the least annoying path opens up
Saving me my strength and innate fervour.

The sun starts to shine through the windows
Its heat causing a minor burn in the already
Weary eyes.
Blinded by the light, stumbling forward
I grope through the oxymoronic darkness
Hoping not to run into a grue.

Apparent Loneliness

2010-12-07T18:07:00.003+08:00

Wondering about past, present and future
Much the same as it was before
Again in the middle of the December Depression.
Everywhere I turn I see lovers walking about
Showing their affections to each other.
Surprisingly I feel nothing more than just mild discomfort
For I am once again walking alone.
Alone in this hot winter
In a land where the warmth comes not from the people
But from the weather itself.
Amidst the established alliances I find myself
Trudging in the mud with my boots
As opposed to the crunching sound of dried snow
Scantly two years back.

December feels different without winter;
Winter feels different without snow.
While others grew depressed over winter
I find myself more invigorated from the cold
Arming myself with the peace and solace
From spending that time alone.
Here, amongst friends and family
I feel an ironic sense of solitude,
One that is anything but refreshing.

I roll the shutters down and mask out the sun
Hoping to pretend that it is the winter I remembered.
But the illusion is shattered the moment that
I step out of the coolness of my office
And step out into the real world once more
Where the heat reminds me more
Of my apparent loneliness.

Happy Birthday Mo!

2010-12-02T10:01:00.001+08:00

Meet this new thing I wrote, that is
O(lg* n) in run time.

Hilariously fast it is
As a
Programmed
Protocol, that is.
Yet utterly unbelievable!

Besides the obvious oulipo here,
I think that it is time to acknowledge that
Regarding your age,
There is no doubt that you
Have gotten older by yet another year,
Determined by my time zone.
And confirmed in a few hours in
Yours: have a good year ahead!

[Ed: Appeared on a facebook wall post for Mo's birthday.]

Remembering...

2010-11-30T09:19:00.002+08:00

Silently I sit in the darkness
Remembering just how you were like.
The thought strikes me hard and fast
And I find that, in some small way,
I haven't really forgotten you
In as much as I have tried
Over the years that separated us.

Some times on a cold lonely night
When I close my eyes, all I can see
Is your pretty face, your green eyes
Your lovely smile and fair soft cheeks
Framed by long light brown hair.

Why did it not work out between us?

Worker's Lament

2010-11-28T23:57:00.002+08:00

As darkness rolls on to my side of the world
I find nothing but silent cold.
My pleas of help remain ignored
My mind no longer my own.
Fear mongers deep within my psyche
And outwards signs of pain stay hidden.
One day when it all has passed
I will look back and laugh
But till then
All I can do
Is to continue to work.

Week End

2010-11-28T22:49:00.003+08:00

A week has only one hundred and sixty-eight hours
And I often yearn for more
For time and time again I find that the things I need to do
Exceed the time that I am permitted to have.
A path I have chosen for myself, in some sense,
Renders my inability to truly complain.
But sometimes, on a quiet night like this
I have wondered if that were sane.

I look around and see the folks
Whom I once had chances of working with.
They seem a tad happier than I
With more time upon their hands
Doing the mundane and just getting paid.
Sometimes I wonder if I am sacrificing too much
Just to keep my uniqueness and individuality
Doing things that I think are worthwhile
That stretches my intellect
With renumeration short of many.

Is life all about making money and merriment
And having time to rest and recover?
Or is it meant to be one of hardship and work
With little time to be chuckling in mirth;
Everything so serious?

It is hard to tell from this death knell
But once again I persist.
A path that I have chosen for myself
Now I must learn to take what it dishes.
What does not kill me truly makes me stronger
Only if I have time to catch my breath.
But the end of year is not doing me favours;
That merriment in the air stifles my adrenaline
And coaxes me towards procrastination.

As each year goes by I wonder to myself
If I truly had a plan for beyond twenty.
Some days I would think of settling down
Yet others I would shiver at that pensieve thought
When I realise that only time will tell.
The heart aches when it senses it misses something
And the end of year has that effect on me.
In true holiday spirit consumer reaction
I cannot help but feel as though I might meet
Someone who will be dear enough to me.

But as these thoughts of blissful company invade my mind
I find myself staring at the blank screen sublime.
With random fields and Ising models
And Boltzmann statistics bouncing off the walls
I bow my head and continue the grind,
Forgetting about what I had just thought of
Knowing that the future will only come
The day I choose to accept it.

Mind Wards

2010-11-21T17:06:00.003+08:00

Day time sun light masks out imperfections
As the sheer radiance blinds the seeker
With promises of greatness and immortality.
But as day turns to dusk and finally to night,
The façade weakens with each passing moment
Till the once shining face of godhood
Falls into the shadows of mortal man
Whose hearts govern their direction as opposed to
The sould that reside in the mind.
Manipulative schemes split along untold schizms
As personalities wage war amongst each other
Trying to determine the overall victor.
All the Ego could do was just to stand aside
And await the moment when the carnage has ceased
Before taking up its traditional position
In the hierarchy.

Stanza Ramble 76

2010-11-10T00:11:00.002+08:00

The world around crumbles
Under the stresses that people create
For each other.
Meaningless dribble covers the
Very basis of what makes things work.
Sensitivities lost, mockery found
Foolishness begets more to come.

Stanza Ramble 75

2010-10-28T11:37:00.001+08:00

If love leads only to pain
Then why love at all?
Why do we even bother?
Perhaps there is just a little more than that
A little more than the discomfort
A little more than the jealousy
A little more than the weirdness.
But these things mean little to me
As I walk along this path I've chosen.
Isolating.

Lonely Geek

2010-10-20T14:16:00.002+08:00

Frivolous fragments of fickle findings
Team up in ways that torment the thinking.
Beyond the confusion of hallucinations
Reality strikes yet another blow.
Mumbling beneath the dying breath
An unstable equilibrium is realised.
Haziness in spirit and mind
Permeate the impassable consciousness.
As the night sky blots out the day
The moon shines upon just one person---
The lonely geek in search of a lover.

Mull

2010-10-11T08:16:00.002+08:00

We met at a party, you and I
Eyes wondered, feeling shy.
But then we left nearly hand-in-hand
And parted ways at the bus stand.

A few months later, we went out
It seemed like paradise without a doubt.
But slowly it was becoming clear
That you didn't hold me so dear.

We parted one summers night
Much surprised at your delight.
A stressful countenance gave way to
A happy affect known to few.

With much sadness I carried on
Hoping time will bring a new dawn.
And now feeling less forlorn
I suddenly feel myself a little torn.

Again our paths will cross once more
Even at that familiar floor.
Unabashedly we will surely speak
Now about what, my curiosity piqued.

Stanza Ramble 74

2010-10-03T01:42:00.003+08:00

Limpid eyes set in an honest face
Framed with even brownish hair.
Glasses atop a petite nose
Close up, it seems that it isn't there.
Impish grin with dimple pair
Teeth in rows of pearly white.

Haiku 91

2010-09-21T01:01:00.001+08:00

A soft breeze blows through
Fresh air seeps from the night winds
Gentle rustles heard.

Bedfellows Spanning Time and Space

2010-09-21T00:53:00.002+08:00

Time is a strange bedfellow with place
Both of them fundamental in the understanding
Of the things that comprise our universe.
Yet to the lay person like you and I
Their sordid affair is of little consequence
As we go about our merry ways
Trying to make sense of an infinitesimal existence;
Something as good as not being present.
Most times we are blissfully oblivious
To the harsh realities of our role in Life
But the very few who ponder upon this day after day
Their sanity slowly leaves them
As they babble on as soothsayers and philosophers alike.

On some nights when I'm not paying attention
When the world reduces to mere natural movements
Of light, touch and sound,
I find myself thinking about the transcendent
And how it will affect the likes of me
Before arresting that idea in mid-thought
As I realise the fallacy of presumption.
Affect effects affect, which affects effects of affection---
A dereliction of duties of clarity, I'm sure
But the grammarian's wont can be dismissed frivolously
As we consider the gravity of the cosmos.

So tonight it is such a night
When I'm not paying much attention
And the world reduces to just natural phenomena
Consisting of light, touch and sound.
And as I ponder deep into the night
Distracted ever so often by the myriad of words
That others have spoken, a flash of confusion
Strikes my mind's eye.

If life is just so insignificant
Why do we place much emphasis on love?

Storm of Life

2010-09-12T23:40:00.003+08:00

For once I stand in the eye of the cyclone
As the worlds of others around me collapse.
Among the wreckage and mayhem I could only see
The battered souls and psyches of my friends
Lying on the border between salvation and destruction.
I tried to offer a helping hand
But there were just too many, too many of them---
I couldn't save all of them.
With tears in my eyes and my angst in my heart
All I can do is just stand there in the eye of the storm
Watching with marked horror at those who fell without returning
Heaving sighs of relief at those who survived the onslaught of fury.

Such is the cruelty of life.

Park in the Dark

2010-09-08T08:39:00.001+08:00

We sat in the park, alone in the dark
Words said set our hearts a-flutter.
Surrepticiously I threw an arm around you
And you seemingly unconsciously huddled closer.
At that point in time, everything stopped
Leaving only you and I.
We talked about our future as one
We pondered about our lives together
We mused about the people's reactions
We fretted about the hardship ahead.
Little by little did we know
We both passed out in the snow.
And when I finally awoke the next day
You had already gone your way.

Own Path

2010-09-05T17:03:00.002+08:00

Alone in the dark
The time slips away constantly
As silent contemplation takes over everything.
Wondering about potential futures
Worrying about what the past brought
And what the future will bring.
Perhaps with time, things will illuminate
A new path that I can truly call
My own.

Mum About Mum

2010-09-02T01:23:00.002+08:00

In my weakness, in my failure
You have always stood there for me.
Unending in presence, unwavering in support
Through the times I yelled at you for no reason
You never abandoned me.
When the world collapsed all about
When everything else seemed so dark
You were still there beside me.
You never did say you love me
But I know you never not loved me
I know I am secretly your most precious
And though I don't say it out loud
I love you too, mum.

Homicidal Rage

2010-08-31T23:17:00.004+08:00

With seething rage I blame the world
For causing me the greatest of griefs.
Unappreciated by the people above
And tormented by the plebians beneath.
Ignoble beginnings and middle-tiered climbs
Crushed by bureaucracy and the kind.
Clawing with nails to the top
Only to find myself handed a mop.
``Go clean up the mess you left behind
Do that first so we can consider your kind.''
With great disgust I toss the tool
I will not be taken for a fool!
With bloodlust and rage seething through my eyes
I berserk through them like fire and ice.
Slashing at throats, attacking their jugulars
Bleeding them dry in a manner most jocular.
``Hey you parrot
Meet Mr Garrot!''
That became a battle-cry
As I stuck a knife in on the sly.
Through wailing voices scaring even Death
Many of them perished, most with a wreath.
The police was called, that to be sure
Already they had fallen to my lure.
As they came about with their guns aimed
I had my last chance to to be maimed.
``Take this you dogs you sons of cur!
You'll never catch me---try it, I'm here!''
With taunt and word thrown so far out
The cops moved in without a doubt.
Cornered slowly into a trap
I mulled quietly, mind taking a lap.
With final resolve against establishment
I sprung with knife, absolved of punishment.
Their guns, they blazed, they fired at will
Turning bits of me into a swill.
As I fall forwards all tattered and torn
A crooked smile appeared, weathered and worn.
The victory was mine, that was most certain
A Pyrrhic one at that---lower curtain.